I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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