Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
