I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
