So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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