yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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