Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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