She is in my trunk
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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