i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
