He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
