i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
