ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
did i just pee glitter
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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