How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
