yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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