Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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