Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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