I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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