I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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