i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
