Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We need to get me chipped asap
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
