I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize