Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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