I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
