so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
just found out that she named her cat after me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
