We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
