Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
