Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
