You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize