...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
