oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
