The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
