i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Your penis caused this!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
