All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
