I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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