he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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