I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
