lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
