not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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