like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize