Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
