i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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