This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
