Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
