i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
