My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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