"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
