my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
