Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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