My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
