For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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