my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Operation Purity has been aborted
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
