hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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