and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
