well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
