she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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