im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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