Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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