This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Green mimosas i think yes
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
