They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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