I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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