Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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