I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
