Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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