its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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