then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
