no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Operation Purity has been aborted
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
