So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
