yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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