she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
