There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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