I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
