This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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