doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize