but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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