There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
